Does any of it matter? I mean in the end it all hurts just the same. The fight to be happy, the challenge to stay optimistic; what's it all worth at the end of the day when you allow yourself to feel the truth and soak in the sorrows of reality. Maybe it benefits the people around you, the ones that care. I think that pretending to be strong allows others to believe that there's hope and life isn't so bad. That's why I try to uphold a happy face. But I know I should just be living and, in the words of the beatles, let it be. It's hard though because I let myself feel too much and think too much. Im so sick of always dreaming; but it's all i ever do and i know i'll never stop. I'll admit that i am a hypocrit: I do see the beauty in the world, I believe in the strength of love, I have faith in happiness and hope for the good in things. But sometimes I fall, sometimes the world is ugly and love seems to always be fading. Sometimes happiness appears as a tease and the bad conquers the good. The truth is it all depends on your outlook, and i try to stay on the positive perspective but what happens when your heart tightens and sadness consumes you and takes over your mind? It's hard and it's selfish .. cause I have it so good. I know that...i love my life - but the bad things always seem to claw their way into my thoughts.
