Accept Darkness

I write to get unbearable thoughts or feelings out of my system.. whether immensely sad or dark, or incredibly happy or overwhelemed with joy. I think that's what it's all about anyway - to allow yourself to feel as much as possible with all your depth in any emotion you're feeling. It is during those moments that you truly understand the transcendent concept of being alive.


I guess I decided to start writing again because  I don't feel the pressure to rewrite my entire past. I'll just write things as they come back to my mind. I also feel very inspired lately by the music I've been listening to and this book I "The Perks of Being a Wall Flower". Absolutly beautiful. So intricate with those emotions of exhausting sadness and moments that feel like infinite joy, which I think so many people can relate to. I find that depressing though, that the majority of humanity has known such desperate sadness and that we all feel lonely more often than not. Even amongst people - no, especially when surrounded by people. And yet it is sort of beautiful, the unity of it all and the truth in it. And lets not forget the part that we all feel intoxicating love and joy at some time which gives us hope and a feeling of belonging somewhere in the world in our constant search to find a real sense of home.

I used to rely so heavily on my dreams and the stars to carry out my destiny. I am a dreamer. But recently I've begun to find the sensations of wonder & curiosity that I used to seek in the stars, now in the pulsing of my own veins. I feel more free to indulge in my dreams in my daily life and make them reality - to live them and also not be scared of the darkness that at times consumes me. Because now I realize that the rush I feel in under my skin, in my blood, the immense depth, the dark, is something to embrace. And it's ok to feel that darkness, to live with your darkness, when you know that you also believe in the light. There's this quote I recently read and part of it really stood out to me: "You must be strong enough to love the world, but be empty enough to sit at the same table and face all of its horrors" - I think that is something that really resignates with me.

It hurts sometimes, most times, knowing how broken people really are, but the only choice we really have is to carry the knowledge that is unites us. Everybody is struggling, thought it's easy to believe its only yourself who feels lost sometimes. But "we must either learn to carry the weight of the universe, or be crushed by it". Learning to live with your sadness and still remain hopeful in all endeavers is really the key - for me at least. Life should not be taken so seriously. Do what feels right, be a compassionate person, and have fun fulfilling your days with things that bring you joy and purpose.